it just hit me like a ton of bricks

i hear those words slur out of his mouth, somehow chokes me in a way where i want to fight back. noticing how the vision is eaten up by tears, but..because letting it be known, is actually worse than withstanding it

I can not put a finger on it, whether I am afraid of the possibilities or making my heart vulnerable weakens me. I want to try, but this veil I wear is not ready to be "un-veiled." The many tries I have taken for myself, it has failed me and left me wounded and broken. As much strength I force upon myself, the weaker I end up. Having this thought of, ' its not perfect, wait till a right one comes,' leads me to doors left un-opened, chances that could have been met. But They built and raised me up to be this unyielding and stubborn individual. I will make up my mind, whether it concerns yours or mine. The sooner the better, right?

Time will just have to wait.